Telling the truth. A NEW CHAPTER

Starting over at 27. Well guys I’m not okay and if I said I was I’d be lying to myself and all of you. At 27 my momma had me and I’m accepting at 27 I’m not where I expected to be. Well at least in a relationship and children aspect of my life. So…this is me admiring every women saying I do and counting down the days until they walk down the isle. To the woman rubbing that belly as they impatiently wait for the arrival of their child. 27 is going to be a very hard year on me. Not because I won’t have those things because I pray to god I do. I am only to blame (kinda) for wasting time on the wrong people and giving endless chances on men who didn’t deserve them. If I would of listened to my gut or not been so scared to walk away from men who were toxic just because of the time I’d invested, I might not be here. However, in life you make choices and I am living with the choices I’ve choose. Here I am writing this to tell you all, I’m scared shitless. Scared that I won’t get the two things in life that mean the most to me. I am also very much aware 27 isn’t old but when you’ve wanted and urge it well feels like a lifetime. Do you remember when we were little and everyone ask what do you wanted “be” when you grow up? I knew I wanted to be a wife and mother. Maybe being the oldest child and growing up with younger siblings had something to do with it, allowing me to help take care of them. I also, wanted to be a country singer. Jokes on me because I CANNOT sing. But, It sounds crazy right?! Wife and mother. I knew that was my purpose and when you feel as if you aren’t filling that purpose it’s disappointing. It all stems from relationships though and who I chose to love.

(Internal clock) 

Yes ladies, we all have one. It’s safe to have all children before age 35 it’s statically proven. But, that doesn’t mean you can’t have children after that. I want to have all of mine by age 35. I use to say 30 but looking at where I am at life didn’t go have I anticipated and that’s OK. I wanted my future children to grow up with their cousins because my sister and I have such a close bond and relationship but life changes things.

Success to me is a family to go home to every night. Although, everyone views success differently. Go into 2019 with what you need in order to be successful! Xo Lex

 

 

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